I've waited here for you, everlong...

As anti-climactic as new year's eve 1999, our due-date has been and gone (9 days overdue, and counting).

The fact that I have time to post here is as good an indicator as any that baby is yet to arrive. Yes, it seems even my offspring has trouble getting out of bed. I guess it wouldn't have been right any other way. I just hope it continues after the birth.

It's funny how quickly things change, not least of all my wife's mood. Just 9 months ago we were honeymooning in Mexico, footloose and fancy-free (well, comparatively). The majority of those months have flown by, and yet the last couple of weeks have felt like an eternity.

We wait.
Tick follow tock follow tick...
With each new day, a fresh disappointment.

We know it's happening, but when? It's takes frustration to all new unbearable levels. And yet, we're acutely aware that within days (if not hours) after the birth we're likely to be wondering what on earth we've got ourselves into, and looking back on these days with rueful envy.

Life is delicious irony, but what else is there?

Hero to Zero

I have been in the new job for a few weeks now, and already I have learnt so much. Namely:

1. That I was actually very good at my previous job;
   
2. That I am grossly underequipped for my new job;
   
3. That all the effort & late nights (unpaid) I put in before leaving the old job haven't been appreciated and are unlikely to be financially recognised;
   
4. That it's fucking hard work going from hero to zero.

I always knew it would be a difficult transition. I had been in my previous job for so long that it had become far too comfortable, on the whole. This is, of course, one of the main reasons I needed a change, but there is a lot to be said for being able to do your job, to at least some degree of competence. Who knew?

I wasn't quite prepared for just how much I need to learn. I have gone from knowing it all, to knowing literally nothing. And it's hard. At the moment, I feel impotent - unable to provide any useful input and all too aware of my daily failings.

But, a challenge is what I needed, and a challenge is what I have got. Hopefully, with time, I'll start to learn to swim.

So, I wasn't joking about the apathy

As the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed, it's been a while since my last update. I always knew that sticking with this was going to be a challenge, and yet, there is a certain ineffable right-ness about failing to regularly update a blog entitled Naturally Apathetic.

But, like some kind of superhero whose only superpower is that of the inane ramble, I am here to right this wrong, and start posting again! Hoorah! Well, for now at least, until I lose interest again. Meh.

This post, for what it's worth, will be an update on what I've missed in the interim, and as such won't be particularly detailed or amusing, but will serve two key purposes: 1) to kick off my posting again, and 2) to lay down some groundwork that I may later discuss. If I can be bothered, of course.

The last 9 months or so have been pretty eventful for me, to be honest. Perhaps most importantly of all, I've proved my junk works. Which is nice. I am man, hear me roar!
Yes, I'm going to be a dad. At some point within the next few weeks I will be responsible for a whole little person (a baby, not a midget/dwarf). Which is equally exciting and terrifying, and depending on which day you catch me, either emotion can be edging it. I’m sure that such a life-changing event will inevitably impact on what I write about here. I hope that’s ok. I'll try not to be too baby-focused, I promise.

Work-wise, a lot has changed. I finally got my long-overdue promotion, started to enjoy my job again and then got a new job, which I have now been in for almost 2 weeks. Same company, different department. Hopefully it will be good for me, and will edge me ever-closer to knowing what I want to be when I grow up.

Reading back over my early posts, I see now just how negative I was feeling, and so I think a fresh start is exactly what I needed. The situation I found myself in was, frankly, a point of no return. Fortunately for me, the opinions formed about me within my previous department were the opposite of those in my new department, and so I was able to secure a job I am wildly underequipped for!

Anyway, that's the gaps filled in for now. I really do want to keep this up, so I'll try to post again soon. Thanks for sticking with it!